My Longarmer & Mariah
As Mariah Carey sings in latest buzz track GTFO, “How ‘bout you get the fuck out?” Well, I’m singing the same Faded notes here because One Sweet Day, I need to get these finished quilt tops out of my studio. Each and every one of them got me feeling Emotions! It’s like I Can’t Let Go, but also gurrrrrl, I Don’t Wanna Cry when I pack up The Beautiful Ones and send them The Distance to the longarm quilter. It’s been Forever since I’ve sent a box of quilt tops out, but I Still Believe I don’t need to quilt all of my quilts myself to be successful. Now That I Know that, I’m happy to partner with the best to be the best. Of course I’m That Chick that will make the Fantasy come true. It’s Like That, y’all!
This really is The Art Of Letting Go, isn’t it? Someday you gotta trust someone else with ya babies! Have you ever been like A No No, You Don’t Know What To Do because you’re so nervous about what you’ll be getting back? Even when you give some design direction, there’s still this moment of the unknown. It’s like looking Though The Rain and The Wind for The One person that can turn The Impossible into a Standing O. I’ve never really been a disappointed Crybaby; I’m So Blessed that my quilts have always come back #Beautiful! Betcha Gon Know that some of you have had horror stories! No shade, but sometimes you gotta Say Something to protect your quilting Bliss. Otherwise you’re gonna be Bringin’ On the Heartbreak with that Breakdown, even if Bone Thugs bring the Harmony!
To my dearest longarmer: Love Takes Time, but I want to be your quilting Loverboy. C’mon my sweet Dreamlover, Let’s Make It Happen! Don’t Forget About Us toppers who rely on your skills because Without You we’d never get anything finished. I Stay In Love with fabrics the same Dedicated way you put your machine on Cruise Control and Fly Like a Bird. For the Record, I Feel It when I Touch My Body. I promise to give you My All when it comes to cutting those threads away, and giving you plenty of extra backing material on all Side Effects. Take A Look At Me Now because I’ve learned a thing or two since being Obsessed with having to do it myself. I’ll let you Lead the Way to prove what a Meteorite my quilt can be before you send it back to be Mine Again.
I don’t care too much about How Much Money ( $ * / … ) you charge because I know when I Close My Eyes this Daydream Interlude will make it all worth it. Love Takes Time so I’ll be ready Just To Hold You Once Again. I know I’m pushing the scheduling limits, but really All I Want For Christmas Is You. There’s Got To Be a Way, right? I understand if that’s a Heartbreaker, and I’ll just Shake It Off and Migrate to a different time. I Only Wanted to get as much done before the end of Infinity. If I’m singing Auld Lang Syne first I promise not to get Up Out My Face and Cry. Instead, I’ll still feel the Heat and be Triumphant, With You.
Now I’m Thirsty for some longarm lovin’! I promise if you bring me the Honey, I’ll Be Lovin’ You a Long Time. So here’s a Subtle Invitation that Whenever You Call, I will run to you with Open Arms. Some of my quilt friends say Anytime You Need a Friend they call you, but I need to Get Your Number so I can pick up the phone and find me a longarm Hero! I know you’re Never Too Far to Make It Look Good. I’ve heard that you Don’t Stop the quilting until the Circles Melt Away into a fine ass piece of Candy Bling. I’ll never H.A.T.E. U. for that because I Want To Know What Love Is.
So it’s time to raise The Roof and show the world that After Tonight despite being Against All Odds you’ll Always Be My Baby. You may Camouflage our love, but When You Believe, you Can’t Take That Away to where the Butterfly flies. So let’s make our quilt a Vision of Love because You Need Me as much as Boy I Need You. Finally, all I have to say is Thank God I Found You because We Belong Together. Bye Bye.
Your Sweetheart,
Molli Sparkles
(Mariah Carey’s new album, Caution is out 16 November, 2018. This ode contains references to 100+ Mariah Carey songs).
Hahaha! Bravo!
“Standing O”!
-Jean💟
OMG – it took forever to read this because I had to sing it all with you! And that is why we love you. And you are a fine a.. quilter. But send them you must, “Just a Song Before I Go” “You are so Beautiful”. Thanks, e
Molli. I have never seen such sexy pics of Mariah…of course, I do not really follow her, but those pics are gorgeous! As usual, good blog.
Epic and awesome. I love when reading makes songs play in my head and it took Forever to get through! Betcha Gon Know is right. The one and only time I used a particular custom longarmer my niece’s quilt came back with large areas quilted with the one thing I dislike and specifically said not to use – meander. No time to redo since it was her graduation gift. Fortunately, I have a great longarmer that only does edge to edge but am looking for one that does custom work. A shop within an hour of me rents their longarm but I’m a bit nervous about the learning curve. I really should find the time and Mariah moxie to take a practice quilt.
I make queen sized quilts for all the nieces and nephews when they marry/move out – 11 so far. AND because of the size I use a Quilter. But this last time I had to rip over 2 square feet. Royal mess. So I’m practicing. I have scads of Stash and make Baby/Dog crate size, 45″ x 45″ quilts (and donate to Humane Soc and local Woman’s shelter.) Just the right size to “get the feel”. EVERYONE has an opinion about technique, pattern, marking. But ask anyway. Turn up the tunes and “Dance It Out” (song by Sandra Boynton)
I am so sorry you both had a bad experience with a longarmer. Did you tell her about the problem? As a longarmer, I want my customers to be happy with what I do and if I disappoint them in any way, I want them to tell me so I can do whatever I can to make it right! Of course, it is important for them to listen to you (I really don’t like meander either!) and if they don’t listen, then there really is a problem. But if my machine messed up the tension and I didn’t catch it, I want you to tell me so I can fix it. No matter what the problem is, please tell me so I can fix the problem…if I don’t get told, I don’t have an opportunity to make it right (even if that means you don’t pay for the quilting!).
Thanks for the answer. No, I go to her house and pick out the quilting pattern, the thread color, the backing, even the batting, but for some reason one was mangled in the middle on both sides. It was a very complicated star pattern and I’m sure even with careful pressing I did not make it flat. The second one was just – well – wonky. When I took out the stitches, it flattened itself out nicely with no extra work. I will ask about it the next time I go (which should be soon with 2 spring weddings.) I will have a discussion with her – but I will still go back to her as this seems like a one off. Oddly I often ask for meander or stipling as I’m giving it as a gift and don’t know if they like hearts or flowers or fish or ?!?!? Wish dog bed quilts I’ve figured out a paw print that people seem to like. Thanks again for the feed back and Molli – thanks for bringing the community together.
You never disappoint. So good!