Miley, The Bitchy Stitcher & A Giveaway
So I confronted my girl Miley Cyrus last night, and was all like, “Gurrrl, I know you’re leading that twerking class in about 30 minutes, but you need to sit that ass down and gimme that red finger because I have some news for you that will leave that wrecking ball ….”
Miley, “I’m sorry, who are you?”
While clutching my pearls and giving her stank face, “Exsqueeze me? I am Molli B. Sparkles, classically trained point-and-shoot photographer and ex-novice quilt maker!”
Miley, “And, so you want like an autograph? I don’t really have time for a photo, I’ve got that twerking class to get to.”
I may or may not have whispered, “bitch,” under my breath, before launching into my own diatribe about how Miley was my namesake, my life and my everything–next only to Madonna, Mariah, Kylie, Celine, Cher, Janet, Barbara, Diana, Tina, Aretha, Beyonce, Whitney, Stevie, Christina, and Dolly Parton. Oh, most definitely Dolly Parton. “Who, if I might remind you is your Godmother!”
Miley, “Yeah, I know, she’s great. Dollywood and all that. But, wait, why are you here? Or do I need to call security?”
“Well! Heaven’s to Betsi! I have never in all of my stars!” And that’s when it happened. I threw the book at her. Quite literally.
Let’s just say she didn’t think it was funny, and it’s also not that easy to run in five-inch stilettos. Thankfully, some tweens saw her chasing me, providing the perfect screen for my escape!
If you want to be a Bitchy Stitcher devotee like me, leave a comment on this post and I’ll randomly draw a winner this time next week. Megan will then send you a signed copy of Quilting Isn’t Funny! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go reorganise my real divas album collection!
OMG I do enjoy reading your posts. I would love to win the autographed book!
I would love you to win too but you're a no reply blogger and I have no way to contact you!
Hilarious yourself! I do believe that you & The Bitchy Stitcher share the witty, satirical, funny as hell gene. Or maybe you're soul sisters in that shooting from the hip hilarity. Thanks for the chance to win Megan's book.
I'm so glad to find a new list of quilting blogs to stalk, my reading list is so quiet these days!
Oh, I'll sign up for that! When does your own book come out?
Oh honey when is your book coming out? Oh damn, rappy just asked the same question, lol.
I did not know the Bitchy Stitcher was a twerker! You have the best intel!
Traveling for Christmas = need good reading material!
Oh my glitterness!!!
I really want this book and I sure could use an early Christmas gift….*wink *wink!!
Thank for the chance to win this sexy book you sweet thang!!
<3 JeSsIcA
juceyj03@gmail.com
Would someone please get Miley out of my head. Earworm. aargh…
In the meantime, I would love the book!
No-Reply Blogger
Fixed. I think.
Wow, I am so glad your blog is part of this blog hop! Great stuff!
It's too early to have it really make sense. Maybe the drugs need to kick in. All I can imagine is my back going out in an awkward twerked position. And, by the way, twerk is not yet recognized by my Spellcheck. Am I too old for all this?
No-Reply Blogger
Megan has the coolest blogger-buds. Present company included. I'd love to win the book, too. Thx!
cool! you are such a geg! (that's a good thing by the way :))
At least it's a book from someone with class, unlike the jerking twerk or is that the twerkin jerk!
I can hardly wait to read the book. Thanks.
Besides the possibility of winning something, this post has given me several new blog favs. Thanks^^
To to to funny! I would love to win this book!!
lisamcgriff (at) Hotmail (dot) com
It is blowing my mind how all these comments are coming up dated "13 December" when it is only December 12th in my kitchen. I am so thrilled to have found your blog that it might be a better prize than the book (I'd still love the book, though). You TOTALLY remind me of my friend Michael from graduate school. Now I kinda miss him. I will be tuning in more, Mr. Sparkles…
No-Reply Blogger!
new to your blog…u r funny! and i have my fingers crossed for this book…xo
As always you make me smile 🙂
Haha…. what? 😉 Gotta love a bit of cray-Z…
You and Megan rock! That is all.
Funny! Thanks for the chance to win
I don't believe for a second that you've really given up on Miley. I know this is just for the paparazzi!
after that quote, who wouldn't want to win this??
Cute! Thank you for the opportunity to win!!
Love! Glad you were on the list! Can't wait to see the finished No Value quilt. Thanks for the chance to win!
Ha, sounds like my perfect book! Thanks for the chance to win…
Twerking, Celebrity Stalking, awesome Quilt book review AND running in mega heels! Major images running through my brain!
I love this! Today is the first time I have heard of another bitchy stitcher besides myself… I will have a copy of this book either by drawing or by paying…gotta have it.
No-Reply Blogger!
I know, you wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream journal so you don't forget all the fabulousness – not that I think Miley is all that! I do, however, think you are all that (and so is Miss Bitchy Stitcher). 🙂 xx
If the book is as funny as your post… I'll be on the floor laughing, Merry Christmas from Oklahoma, USA. crystalbluern at onlineok dot com
This great book is on my Santa List that I gave my hubby. If I don't win it first and I am really trying here. You crack me up once again, you sparkly thing!
how cute would love it
No-Reply Blogger
Thanks again for such an entertaining post, New to Quilting I am SOoooooo glad I stumbled upon your BLOG , gotta love the Sparkles in your life
Yo you do add a bit of sparkle to my day, Molli! I'd love that book!
Love your sparkle and wit. Would love the book, too! Glad to have found your blog.
Thanks for a great giveaway. Love your blog!
Love the post. Very funny. Would love my own copy.
Looooove the new picture on the side bar! Where are the pearls? 😉 thanks for the giggles, as usual! And thanks for hosting this fun giveaway! I will patiently wait till you pick a winner before I buy the book. Lol
I would really like a copy of this book – Megan's blog is so fun ( as is yours, Molly), and I want to read more, more, more. Thanks for the giveaway.
Love your post! If you and Megan are friends, you need to come out with a book to follow hers! Thanks for the chance to win!
Love this!
Hahaha! Another great post (who does that Miley think she is, honestly!), keep on sparkling Miss Molli!
I wonder if Miley twerks during performances of wrecking ball????? Thanks for the giveaway! kmcassie@gmail.com
Always love a good laugh! !
I would love to win Megan's book and who knew she could twerk!
Ms. Molli… How on earth did you compose yourself? Ms. Thang needs a good beating with that book to knock some sense back into her head! 🙂
Ha Ha, too funny! And yeah, why'd they change the definition of modern quilting AGAIN!!
LOL
Lol you are so random, I love it 🙂
Oh Molli, you are on a roll! Thanks for calling attention to Megan's book! A chance to win a free copy….SURE!! Thanks!!!!
You ARE a riot! Thanks for the chance to win! Keep on keepin' on!
I'm a stitcher have have, in fact, been called bitchy, so yeah, I think I might like this book? Thanks for the chance!
The book sounds great *fingers crossed* if this fails at least it's nearly my birthday!
I do love a good laugh and it looks like this book would give me just that!
I cannot believe she would do you like that that. Ain't nobody got time for that. At least Ms Glitter Mariah herself still knows and appreciates you and all your sparkleness.
OH i neeeeeed this!
Sounds like a great book! Thanks for the chance!
This sounds like my perfect book – if I don't win I'm going to buy myself one as a late Christmas present!
I love Megan's blog – her book sounds fabulous!