Censoring: Don’t Be a Dick

I probably should have seen it coming. Whether I like it or not, I’m still playing in my grandma’s traditional sandbox.* Well, the grannies just came along and kicked down my sandcastle. Apparently, the conservative viewers at Craftsy have made a collective stink about my Don’t Be a Dick quilt block pattern posted there. The pattern was pulled down from the Craftsy website after it was reported as being pornographic. Now this just makes me laugh and laugh. I mean, the truth tea is, like any warm-blooded gay man, I know what porn is. I may have even been known to sleep with a porn star or two! Ow! So believe you me, calling some rectangles, squares and half-square-triangles positioned into a cartoon shape of a penis, does not porn make. (G-rated porn, is that even a thing?) When did body parts become so offensive?


To that end, as soon as the trouble started with the Don’t Be a Dick quilt block pattern, Craftsy reached out to me. Their team have been nothing short of fabulous in their communication with me! The emails have been courteous, hilarious, and filled with ideas on how we can work together to both our benefit. Plus, team member, Millie, knows how to work a GIF! At first I was quite resistant to their suggestions of censorship. (To be honest, I still am, and it stirs all sorts of thoughts and emotions that I don’t want discuss while I’m still heated about it). However, I do understand that they have a business to run. They have a lot of people to make happy, which includes both the extremely liberal like me, all the way to the conservative, complaining bee hives. C’est la vie, right? Plus, they’re offering their marketplace free of charge for us burgeoning pattern makers to use. So I’ve decided to concede, and I am working with them to revise the cover page so that it is a little less abrasive for some viewers.


In the meantime, if you’d like to buy my pattern directly, you can send me an email. I’ll send you a Paypal request for $4.00 and then email you the PDF straight away after payment. Thank you everyone for your patience and support! I’m certainly not disgruntled or discouraged (probably quite the opposite), so I’ll just keep on, keeping on, because the world obviously needs to see this dick quilt made!

*Metaphor! Like most of you, my Grandma Sparkles is anything but traditional!


Don’t Be a Dick Pattern Available Here

48 Responses

  1. Serena @ Sewgiving says:

    Are you going to the first quilter to sell patterns wrapped in black plastic behind the counter? I’m glad that Craftsy are working with you on this one. It would be a shame if the point blank refused to let you sell it on their site.

  2. Angela says:

    I’m so glad I went ahead and purchased the pattern before they pulled it. I love that Craftsy is working with you and can see how silly some grown-ups are being. Good luck on getting it worked out!

  3. YANICKA says:

    that is the kind of people that get offended by a penis on a classical sculpture. 🙂

  4. SuzK says:

    you should do another pattern with a fig leaf over it – I’m pleased to hear Craftsy is working with you – it says a great deal about them as a company. It’s hard to believe it’s the 21st century sometimes.

  5. Tish says:

    It’s a relief to hear that Craftsy is willing to work with you on this matter instead of just shutting the pattern down completely.

  6. AJ says:

    While I am glad they are working with you, I wish Craftsy had been willing to take a stand here. However, like you, I recognize that they have a business to run and that includes considering people with different “sensibilities” (a much nicer description than what I am actually thinking :-). I am glad I bought the pattern when you announced its release since it sent Craftsy the message that some of their patrons are more open-minded.

    BTW, love the fabric you are using here. Is that Shimmer by Jennifer Sampou?

    Keep on sparklin’ Molli!

  7. Sorry to hear about the troubles, but glad that Craftsy is working with you.

  8. Nancy Nielsen says:

    This could be a very good thing !!! People LOVE to read Banned Books, see Banned movies and see/do/make things that are a bit naughty. As soon as folks hear that something is banned or censored, they want to see what it is, why it’s so bad, and I want it. I bet this brings you even more sales. Love you and your posts Molli. Good luck to you with this.
    Love you and your posts Molli

  9. Jayne says:

    I totally see your side and the Craftsy side. While I’m not offended in any way over your pattern, others may be (and apparently are)! At least you figured out a plan B on selling the pattern!

  10. Amoreena says:

    Oh, your pattern titilated those grannies, and they couldn’t handle it! Lol. Now I must have your pattern!

  11. Jeanette says:

    HA!! When I first saw this I thought it was a lighthouse on a rocky cliff and wasn’t too impressed with the colors. Well…..the jokes on me and I am laughing, be creative, use your imagination and oh my goodness I may just have to make this and use it as a creative tool for guessing games. We will see where everybody’s mind is when they make their guesses. Love a little X-rated quilt block every now and then.

  12. Lisa says:

    You just keep pushing the boundaries Mollie. We’re with you!

  13. Jeanette says:

    I love the other Jeanette’s idea on using the block as part of a guessing game!! the whole thing is hysterical. made me think of when in my senior health class in 1967, our teacher risked her job by pulling out the male parts to the body part mannequin for us girls to see. Back then the boys and girls were separated for gym and health classes. She just thought we should all know before we were sent out in the world as a senior graduating class….LOL. Now this was back in 1967 for crips sake! Amazing how far we think we’ve come only to face this…funny but sad.

  14. Belinda Shreeve says:

    What a hoot. You and Mr Sparkles need to come to Tassie and visit MONA – genitalia for miles.
    Maybe Craftsy could have a ‘special’ section like Ravelry do for people of a more delicate sensibility to avoid. #blesstheirlittlecottonsocks

  15. Becki says:

    I have never understood why people don’t just “click” off what they think is offensive?! For goodness sake, we ALL have rights. I love you, Mollie. You make me smile.

  16. Tina says:

    oh well – welcome to the 21 century….
    I can’t say that I particularly like the dick pattern, but I would say the same about Hello Kitty….
    How hard can it be to look to the other side when you don’t like or get the artistic value of something? It is not that you stumble over it every time one opens the craftsy webpage or it automatically downloads as your screen saver (though, if you want, I could ask my husband and his software developer friends if they could built you hack that downloads it automatically as your dancing screen saver if you write complaining comment…)
    Heads up. It would look bad made of civil war reproduction fabric anyway. Yuck.

  17. Just had hubby look at the penis block. He was like, “WHAT???” He says it looks like Vader’s helmet if you’re looking for a different interpretation. Ha! Pretty sure our household needs this pattern. Sending an email.

  18. Sharon Askew says:

    I am conservative and thought it was hysterical and do planning on purchasing a copy. However, it was my LIBERAL friends who took exception! So, are you sure it’s conservatives….or just some people in general?

  19. Yeah – nah, a human body part is NOT porn. We are what we are – and this dick is part of it, ya know! I’m firmly on the side of the penis and I’m glad that you made this patten because this is part of our human evolution to a higher consciousness, in my opinion. Once we get over this ridiculous notion that our bodies and sex are bad, we will have evolved that much further. This pushes us to look at ourselves a little bit, and that can’t be a bad thing. Power to the penis and va-jay jays, I say. You go Sparkles.

    • Linda says:

      Please take the time to let Craftsy know how you feel!

    • Susan McGlasson says:

      What say they call it “Rocket Man” and say it’s a tribute to David Bowie? I love it anyway. Will be onto the website soon to buy and make a statement about censorship. And the lady who mentioned the rifle associated patterns…yes I agree! Most offensive. And anyone following free form curved piecing in the modern vane has probably seen the comparisons to Georgia O’Keefe. Play on Molli Sparkles!

  20. Linda says:

    What does it mean – craftsy is working with you? No – they censored you and I am furious about it. Why do a few complainers get their way? I would love to know what the percentage of complainers were in relationship to total viewers. Shame shame shame on craftsy. They will be hearing from me.

  21. Leanne says:

    Thank you for the good laugh this morning! I’m so glad that they are sorting it so that the pattern will be back available.

  22. Peter Pan says:

    For those who love a good laugh, Dick Head and its equivalent Cunt are derogatory epithets. Words used to humiliate, demean and insult. They are not funny. You were not censored. A community of artisans spoke out regarding your choice of insulting language. The last time I was called a name like that it was not HILARIOUS. Your response as victim, is typical of one who lacks the vocabulary, business acumen, and insight to know that Craftsys’ response is not about you personally.

    • Linda says:

      So its ok for you to attack a person’s character as you did as long as you use “proper words”. And Its ok to stereotype someone as “typical” if you use a different set of words that apparently you find acceptable. Quite frankly I would rather be called a dick. While Craftsy’s response is not personal (and we all assumed that despite your accusation) your attack was and you should apologize. Or maybe you just need to take a deep breath and focus your energy on a real issue.

      • Ellen says:

        Go, Linda! I totally agree with you–well said!

        • Awe, thanks Linda and Ellen! Just so it’s abundantly clear for Peter Pan (real name please?), in my numerous communications with Craftsy, at no point was their issue with “insulting language.” Never. But if you want to go there, Peter Pan, you’re being a real dick head about this. Gasp! Still flying? Great, let’s move on to a real issue. (Side bar: The name of the pattern is called, “Don’t Be a Dick” which includes the full shaft and balls, not just the head!)

    • Thanks for the lovely compliments! Are you trying to get me to make this quilt for you?

  23. Gill says:

    I find the National Rifle Association slogan patterns on Craftsy way more offensive!

  24. RLC says:

    I do hope things work out for you. I must confess, I never thought I would think of the the words “pornographic” and “quilt block” in the same sentence. I mean, really? Craftsy is a private organization though, so they have the right to decide what is allowed or not allowed on their platform, even if I think they are over reacting. I don’t work there. I’m glad they are working with you to come to a reasonable compromise.

  25. Alli says:

    It just kills me that you put in the extra seams to make the tip really accurate. 😂😂 This is genius!

  26. Ariane says:

    Hope it’s cool with you, I added it to Textillia’s pattern database *uncensored* as a show of support. 🙂 http://www.textillia.com/patterns/dont-be-dick-quilt-block

  27. Danyse says:

    Keep it off Craftsy!!!! Your a di*! for even suggesting it!

  28. Rani says:

    I’m glad that Craftsy is working with you! Unfortunately, I’m sure there are a crazy number of conservative old fogies shopping on Craftsy.

  29. Vicky says:

    So glad Craftsy are working with you on this!! Personally I love it and can think of a few people I could make this for!! Keep on creating! 🙂

  30. Jan says:

    When can we expect the “uncut version?”

  31. Leah says:

    If a Muslim asked you to remove it because it offended them would you be so nasty and snarky?

    • Katemustsew says:

      Pretty sure Muslims have dicks too!

    • Calling this blog post “nasty and snarky” is akin to, I don’t know, calling this quilt block “pornographic.” It sounds like you might be new to my blog, and if so, Welcome! So that it is clear, I often use satire when writing. Let’s not turn this situation into a discussion about something other than what it is. 🙂

    • Ariane says:

      Haha. Great example Heather – guess it’s a double standard, since the majority of Craftsy users are women. As much as women’s nudity/anatomy is often sexualized, I’d say men’s is just as much sexualized and also seen as “gross” by a lot of people. Exactly why it’s important to challenge this kind of censorship!

    • To be fair, there is a vagina pattern on Craftsy that is censored. I guess it’s just the things below the waist that are truly offensive. I hope no one submits a pattern for feet!

  32. Rhonda says:

    So sport your getting so much flack about this pattern. That can be very deflating…but that’s another pattern completely! 😂😂😂😂

  33. Ellen says:

    Now I know what at least one block on each of my adult children’s (one boy and one girl) quilts will contain….

  1. June 11, 2016

    […] Molli Sparkles had his “Don’t Be a Dick” quilt block removed from the Craftsy pattern marketplace yesterday after it had apparently been flagged by […]

  2. January 8, 2017

    […] I went and released the pattern for my dick on Craftsy, and everything was peachy. That was until some peeps complained that my cartoon penis was pornographic and offensive. Oh the things my sassy-pants mouth said […]

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