The Best Birthday Wish!

First, let me thank everyone who left cards, gifts, scented candles, and just general merriment on my Facebook wall yesterday to celebrate my 35th birthday. I didn’t even realise I knew that many people! The bad news: Mr. Sparkles and I have been holed up all week with the flu, so there have been absolutely no celebrations. Like, not even a drop of champagne brushed my lips! You know it’s bad when! Mr. Sparkles’s birthday is the day after mine (we truly were meant to be), so it’s been a double Debbie-downer situation. Thankfully, I have a quilt or two lingering about the house, so we could snuggle up on the couch with those. As soon as we get to feeling better, we are going straight to David Jones (or other illustrious cake shop) and buying all the cakes. All of them. Then I’m bringing them home and washing them down with all the champagne. All the cakes, and all the champagne, YASSSSSS!

Meanwhile, the lovely dixiechunk left this wonderful comment on my pattern, Don’t Be a Dick:

This is wrong. This is not the proper place to air your dirty little pornographic patterns. What’s next on your drawing board, “Just a Little Pussy”? If you want to design and sell this kind of crap get your own website. Please.

I never expected to get such fan mail! But dixiechunk, whoa, if this is your idea of pornographic, do I have a thing or two to show you! You think you’re blushing now! Ow! That being said, I have absolutely zero plans to release a quilt pattern based on the female anatomy you describe, since I have zero experience down there, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. If you’d like to collaborate on this, feel free to reach out, because lo and behold, I do have my own website. Molli. Sparkles. Dot. Com.


19 Responses

  1. Kate says:

    Oh man. She missed the point and wen ahead and was a dick! *sigh*
    On the upside tho, at least you have an idea for your next pattern!!

  2. Martina says:

    Well, what can I say – there are always a few party poopers around…

  3. Jodie says:

    They clearly heard people were making them for those who deserved them and thought ‘how can I get my hands on one of these’!

  4. YANICKA says:

    Congratulation on your first internet hater….the first is always more special. If she think it is pornographic, I hope she never see a few of my ideas I plan on putting on fabric.

  5. Julie says:

    Admittedly, I might not make it myself but pornographic? If you change the colors it could be a silo with some hay bales LOL Hugs!

  6. SuzK says:

    this pattern, like lots of others on Craftsy, wasn’t my cup of tea, but pornographic? it’s the 21st century – she needs to get over herself! If she didn’t like it, she should have just moved on.

  7. Tish says:

    Like Martina said, there is one in every bunch. I often wonder what people are really thinking when they leave comments like that. If you see something and you don’t like it, how about just don’t look? I think your pattern rocks! I say Molli on full speed ahead. Keep designing your kick ass patterns and we will be right here cheering you on.

  8. Nicole says:

    The gauntlet has been thrown down Molli. Pussy pattern please!

    And happy birthday. Feel better soon.

  9. Caroline says:

    Brilliant. This just gets better and better! Happy Birthday!!

  10. Aileen says:

    Heehee poor old dixiechunk, clutching her pearls and having the vapours. Love your style, Molli. Never change.

  11. Happy Birthday to you both. I hope you start to feel better soon so you can celebrate in style.

  12. Linda says:

    That comment was laugh out loud funny. Poor little uptight thing.

  13. Wendy says:

    Happy birthday! I think you should tell her she can have a copy of the pattern for free, bet she wouldn’t know what to do with that!

  14. Jacqueline says:

    Hello sweet man,
    A Happy Belated birthday to you and your dear husband! …and a nice ole birthday smack on the bum to both of you…*ooohhh-la-la*…LOL!
    As for the comment…I’m thinking Ms. Dixiechick is in need of some attention to her own *ahem* pussy…LOL!
    Quilty Huggs,
    Jacqueline in Pitt Meadows

  15. Jason says:

    Wow–you have the exact same birthday as my husband Ian! He turned 35 on Thursday. Happy Birthday to both of you handsome fellas!

  16. Ali says:

    I read this post yesterday and it’s kept coming to mind off and on over the weekend. I have to say that I really didn’t like the dick quilt. It was very much not my taste nor something I even find amusing. I understand the motivation behind it, and accept that it could be considered art and that quilting is simply the medium. I admit I feel awkward around it, and that is about me, not the quilt itself. I am surprised you listed it as a pattern on as I would not have imagined that to be the most aligned distribution channel for this kind of design. I am sure you realise it’s a niche market product? I am sure there are sales outlets that align better, though I admit I can’t think of any. I am really surprised that you thought it Ok to create a post as your forum for reply. Does dixiechunk know about this post? Did you reply to her on the craftsy comment section? (I didn’t see a public comment when I looked just now, but you may of course have contacted her directly and not mentioned that in your post). I just find the method of reply (putting up this post where she no doubt won’t find it) to be poor cyber citizenship, verging on cruel and I don’t have much time for the ridiculing of a relatively innocent third party to achieve a few laughs. Not quite what I expected from Molli Sparkles, it seems when someone dispenses their view of the situation (their “truth tea”) and it doesn’t match your view, then that makes them fair game for contempt and ridicule.

    • Hi Ali! Thanks for your comment! I chose Craftsy because from what I understand it is the largest distribution channel for quilt patterns. The fact that there’s not a bunch of similar patterns to mine is actually wonderful because it really stands out. Agreed, it is a niche market, and I’m all about doing things differently. As for my methods… Well, as I see it, if someone is bold enough to leave a permanent comment such as hers on my pattern in a public forum, then I have no qualms about making it even more public. A quick Google search would have shown dixiechunk what this block was about, and who Molli Sparkles is. Instead, she ignorantly lambasted her opinion out there calling my hard work: “wrong, little, pornographic, and crap.” If she has the time and energy to go there, well then I will too. So, no, I don’t find her innocent, and I certainly don’t expect her, you or anyone to agree with any or all of what I do / have to say. However, if we are talking about contempt, I’d suggest reading her comment to me again.

      But, Ali, I want you to know I totally appreciate your POV here, even though I don’t agree with it. And I hope that difference doesn’t preclude a respectful relationship!

  17. Haters gonna hate. Dicks gonna… well, you know.

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