Marsala Erotica

Marsala. Love it, hate it, meh it. Pantone will never please everyone, and nor should we expect it. However, I am a bit befuddled by their overtly sexualised story line revolving around a supposed colour trend. Y’all know I am not one to shy away from sexualised anecdotes, but really Pantone: Is this the only way you can make the world embrace this colour? Perhaps pleasing everyone was on your mind after all.
***
“Hey ladies. Wassup? You need help reading those legs, er, I mean lines?”
“We sure do! I don’t know what this play is called, but let me pull my skirt up a little higher so you can find out.”
Maybe if I put this fox mask on we can pretend we’re in Eyes Wide Shut and really get this party started.

“There’s nothing sexier than you putting your shoes on my coffee cup. Mmm, and pomegranate, wet, pink and fleshy. How appropriate.”

“Have a taste, and wash it down with this magic elixir. I think we all need to loosen up a bit more. Don’t you?” 
“I couldn’t have said it better myself Leatrice Eiseman! I need him to embrace my warmth. You’re such an inspiration!”
Damn it, I can’t get rid of that girl and her fuck-me legs. Fine!
“Well, I thought it was going to be just us, but two on one can be just as fun!”
Hmm… this is almost Radiant Orchid, maybe if I dangle it next to my delicate bosom…
“That’s a lovely flower you have there. It’s kind of like the sexy flowers on your skirt. Can I have closer look up,  at,  in, um, that’s sexy.” Just smile, just smile, play it cool.
If this isn’t an invitation, I don’t know what is! It worked at the last party I went to! Why do we even still have our clothes on?
“Oh Leatrice. You really have thought of everything. How quaint of you calling our tickle sticks a small appliance. Nurturing and fulfilling indeed! I guess if we’re stirring the honey pot, keeping it in the kitchen is a logical place! Duly noted!”
“Mmm, this fabric feels so soft against my skin. I want to feel it all over me. Let’s roll around on the floor with large rolls of marsala between us!”
“Bitch, stole my look.”
“I knew those pants had to go. This floral marsala brocade will look so much better wrapped around you. Actually, so would I! Pick me!”
“AYFKM? I work all night to get you in my marsala and you’re choosing her?”

“Ladies, ladies, don’t you worry. There’s enough of me to make both of your raspberries swirl.”

 And it looks like he took a bite out. of. that. Universally appealing, indeed.

33 Responses

  1. Kymberly says:

    Oh my goodness. I wasn't thrilled with the choice of Marsala, but now I won't be able to see it without cracking up. This will have me laughing all day!

  2. Sooli says:

    While I don't mind the colour the name takes me back to the 70's and my first drink of choice as a teenager – well no choice really as it was really the only drink available in our house as my Dad didn't drink at all and Mum only drank either Marsala or a 'nice Hock Lime and Lemon'!. Mmmm yum yum Marsala and Coke – not! I can still smell it!

  3. That was hilarious! The color makes me think of dried blood……

  4. memmens says:

    Flip it's terrible, but thanks for the laugh, maybe some one could come up with an alternative!

  5. ~Diana says:

    I so agree with you…it's like female movie stars who "have to" appear on publications in sexy attire (Jenn Aniston wearing a mans shirt, nothing else…) I hate that they do this…really really bad…

  6. I love your take on the ads, thanks for the giggle this morning. 🙂

  7. Mareenchen says:

    Hahaha, thank you, love it all but especially this: "Mmm, this fabric feels so soft against my skin. I want to feel it all over me. Let's roll around on the floor with large rolls of marsala between us!"

  8. I must say your take on the ad is far more interesting than the color. I went to a college whose colors were maroon and white and let me tell you , it's not flattering on anyone. You can change the name and call it marsala but to me, it's still ugly!

  9. Anita C says:

    Once again thanks for the morning giggle 🙂

  10. I'm not a fan of this color! I agree with the above comments. It looks like dried blood! Your take on the photos are amazing. LOL. Every time I see something in this color I will be saying AYFKM in my head!! Ha

  11. Paula says:

    Too funny. Thanks for the giggle.

  12. When I see the color I only think nail polish and lipstick. Sometimes I wonder if Pantone really just puts all of their colors on a wall and throws a dart to pick the color of the year.

  13. One Wee Bird says:

    Offer your services to Pantone as their marketing guru…….I like your salicious text a lot more than the colour 😉

  14. Vera says:

    Ha ha, you are one of a kind. Marsala sounds like some kind of food to me and I actually do like this color.

  15. Zephyrael 73 says:

    Thank you for the laugh this morning 🙂

  16. Farm Quilter says:

    I hate Mudsala and certainly won't be using it in a quilt or anywhere else in my home – it's AWFUL!!! Love your story 🙂

  17. Kristin says:

    I love you, Molli Sparkles! 👯

  18. Kim B. says:

    wah ha ha ha ha ha. Brilliant commentary as always. You're genius.

  19. Kim B. says:

    and the shoe on the coffee cup?!! what were they thinking?!! (I mean, I know it's ALL egregious, far be it from me to say any one visual is worse than any other)

  20. leanne says:

    ain't nothing subtle about those photos – as always, you are on fire – the commentary is awesome !

  21. kitty says:

    The only emotion Marsala can bring about for me is when used in a good chicken, pork or veal recipe! Bombarding Marsala as a color with an overload of clumsy would-be erotica does not alter the dullness of the color itself.

  22. mascanlon says:

    Thanks for laughs with my coffee this AM!

  23. Katy Cameron says:

    I never even knew Pantone had stories behind their colours before. Now I may never look at them the same way again… ;o)

  24. MsMidge says:

    It's so absurd you've just got to laugh!

  25. greeneggs says:

    Hahaha love your script! Makes the silly images much more interesting.

  26. Marsala as a colour? Bleeck! I wouldn't be inclined to use it in a quilt. AYFKM indeed. However, you have certainly made it much more palatable. Thanks for that! 🙂

  27. I can see it now, years from now you'll be doing an episode of Pantone Marsala on Drunk History. Hysterical. Too many "what were they thinking" moments to count.

  28. The O's says:

    the colour reminds me of the morning after having Polish barszcz (beetroot soup)… I embrace it because I make awesome barszcz but for no other reason.

  29. Laurelle says:

    As my 18 year old always says, Bahahahahaha 🙂

  30. Salley says:

    Marsala is just a ponce name for faded maroon . . .. and as I spent 12 years in maroon school uniforms, it ain't comin' into my house any time soon. Bleh.

  31. Erica says:

    Your post – hilarious. Marsala – I don't see it as a dominant hue in any palette I might be using but I think it has tremendous potential as a neutral, actually. Thanks for the laugh.

  32. Pat V. says:

    The color is icky, but your commentary is hilarious! Thanks for sharing your take on these ads. Who the heck thinks these up, anyway? None of this makes me want to use this color in my quilts, that's for sure…

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