Marsala. Love it, hate it, meh it. Pantone will never please everyone, and nor should we expect it. However, I am a bit befuddled by their overtly sexualised story line revolving around a supposed colour trend. Y’all know I am not one to shy away from sexualised anecdotes, but really Pantone: Is this the only way you can make the world embrace this colour? Perhaps pleasing everyone was on your mind after all.
“Hey ladies. Wassup? You need help reading those
legs, er, I mean lines?”
“We sure do! I don’t know what this play is called, but let me pull my skirt up a little higher so you can find out.”
Maybe if I put this fox mask on we can pretend we’re in Eyes Wide Shut and really get this party started.
“There’s nothing sexier than you putting your shoes on my coffee cup. Mmm, and pomegranate, wet, pink and fleshy. How appropriate.”
“Have a taste, and wash it down with this magic elixir. I think we all need to loosen up a bit more. Don’t you?”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself Leatrice Eiseman! I need him to embrace my warmth. You’re such an inspiration!”
Damn it, I can’t get rid of that girl and her fuck-me legs. Fine!
“Well, I thought it was going to be just us, but two on one can be just as fun!”
Hmm… this is almost Radiant Orchid, maybe if I dangle it next to my delicate bosom…
“That’s a lovely flower you have there. It’s kind of like the sexy flowers on your skirt. Can I have closer look
up, at, in, um, that’s sexy.” Just smile, just smile, play it cool.
If this isn’t an invitation, I don’t know what is! It worked at the last party I went to! Why do we even still have our clothes on?
“Oh Leatrice. You really have thought of everything. How quaint of you calling our tickle sticks a small appliance. Nurturing and fulfilling indeed! I guess if we’re stirring the honey pot, keeping it in the kitchen is a logical place! Duly noted!”
“Mmm, this fabric feels so soft against my skin. I want to feel it all over me. Let’s roll around on the floor with large rolls of marsala between us!”
“Bitch, stole my look.”
“I knew those pants had to go. This floral marsala brocade will look so much better wrapped around you. Actually, so would I! Pick me!”
“AYFKM? I work all night to get you in my marsala and you’re choosing her?”
“Ladies, ladies, don’t you worry. There’s enough of me to make both of your raspberries swirl.”
And it looks like he took a bite out. of. that. Universally appealing, indeed.