TGIFF – Shudder

When I wrote my first post about Shudder back in February, I remarked, “I want this quilt to personify the shudder of anticipation, the sweet sensation of a caress, the vibration ricocheting around your body, all serving to remind us that our sensuality exists. Allow yourself to feel it.” Through the process of making this quilt, I realised that same shudder feeling exists in so many other scenarios. Ultimately, this quilt is about finding out love is not really there when you thought it was. The sensational shudder you felt at the beginning of a relationship can quickly turn into a shudder of disappointment. Both are valid feelings, and you should not be afraid to realise the potential of either.
While making this quilt, I started writing poetry, that for me, emotionally tied into each blog post about Shudder. I’ve grouped it all here, as a differing way of showing my process along the way. For those that have been following along, you’ll find a new, and the last instalment at the end. 
Shudder
A February wind blows ice through the hurtful air,
Eyes are blurred, not stopping, no, no-no, don’t care
I need to feel his warmth–any temperature will do here
Soul so cold, even when I laid before him bare.
Didn’t know I’d miss it, or need it want it crave it for
Evaporating touch: could now never be more sure
Then it reappears, but distant as ever as before
So I beg in silence, just make me shudder some more.
They keep coming on, like ripples and waves
Blocks of colours, staggered in ways
That keep the feeling, of tipples and raves
Blind of ambition, daggers through haze.
Stick words to the wall, your love it will save
Needles and pins, hearts are ablaze
Stitch words in silence, enough still to crave
Then with a final shudder you say…
“Thanks for this, but can we just be friends instead?”
My first grown up love, forcing me out of his cooling bed.
So I hide my embarrassment, behind my tearing eyes
Knowing the shudder you felt, was smaller than mine
I didn’t linger longer, my world crumbling apart
Like rusted flecks of paint, falling from my virgin heart.
My bruised heart mended, but always fully effected
by the misguided zing! boom! in my head I had constructed
Now I can see behind, clearly, with more perspective
I was better than that, and the actions you selected.
So the next time you see me, I know you’ll start to flutter,
Let me whisper in your ear, just above a mutter
But I’ll only say it once, and walk away, without a stutter:
“I’ve got a new love, one that fully, makes me shudder.”
Title: Shudder
Size: 62″ x 82″
Pattern: Delectable Mountains, tutorial by Mishi Kichi
Fabric: Pat Bravo for Art Gallery’s Carnaby St. range
Quilting: Long arm quilting, Modern Ogee, by Quilt Jane using Aurifil 50wt, colour 2024 White
Binding: hand stitched with Aurifil 50wt, colour 2024 White
Backing: Pieced backing using Carnaby St. yardage, and coordinating Art Gallery Pure Elements solids
Favourite Part: The aesthetic of the quilt successfully captures the feelings I wanted to portray.
Linking up with TGIFF and Crazy Mom Quilts!

That felt really good.

35 Responses

  1. Kathy says:

    Shudders is pure beauty to the eye…loves the ripples and movement they bring…certainly very reminiscent of a shudder. You poetry does so make me miss my youth and those shudders but not the heartbreak xx

  2. I love the colors and I agree with the previous poster that the waves in the background fabric give this quilt a lot of movement.

  3. woow! I love the quilt but to be honest I love the poem more than the quilt. Very emotional and genuine. Good on you Molli…

  4. Susie says:

    A really stunning quilt. Such an awesome long distance effect. Would love to see it in person.

  5. Awesome finish! It looks like it's vibrating 🙂

  6. Julie says:

    Fabulous quilt – great poem too.
    A man of many talents aren't you?

  7. charlotte says:

    Wonderful quilt. I would love to try out this pattern, but I don't know if I could find more perfect fabrics for the feeling these create. You poem is wonderful. It really made me remember what that scenario was like. I think we have all been through that. Great job Molli!!

  8. Pat says:

    Molli, you never cease to amaze.

  9. Vera says:

    Looks great and perfect place for picture taking. When you were showing bit here and there I thought it'll be all look at me drama but the end result is quite different. Well done.

  10. Absolutely stunning … your quilt, and your words. Well done!

  11. mascanlon says:

    Love the poem as much as the quilt!

  12. Auntie Pami says:

    Very well stated. I like your use of a nontraditional background. Unexpected and it really works.

  13. Really beautiful. And now I'm at a loss for words.

  14. lindaroo says:

    Oh, yes. The graphic and the words are very evocative.
    Your use of the fabrics is so effective, especially your choice of background. The little breaks in the pattern's continuity suggest breaking out of a static inertia. Another boundary pushed back by Molli Sparkles!

  15. ~Diana says:

    1. When did you get used to using "colour"?
    2. Love the "backbround" fabric, gives this quilt so much movement
    3. Snapping my fingers at your poetry slam
    4. I "shudder" to think what my world would have been had I not found your blog!

  16. This is truly amazing! I enjoyed watching your blocks come together and now I'm blown away by the finish. Beautifully done!

  17. Taryn V. says:

    This quilt is absolutely stunning. The whole quilt top is pulsating with energy! The quilt pattern and the choice of background fabric are perfect for conveying the sentiment of Shudder. I really enjoyed the poem!

  18. Stunning. The quilt, poem…so beautiful.

  19. krazgrl says:

    Geeshhh…all I think about when I'm sewing is stitch, stitch, stitch, oh crap that's crooked, stitch, stitch, stitch….

    Clearly I have a lot to learn. Wonderful poem and an AHHHHHmazing quilt! Love basically every little thing about it.

  20. Jenny says:

    I cannot emphasize enough how inspired it was to use that fabric for your background. I think that's the choice that elevates this quilt to outstanding.

  21. Kathy says:

    Beautiful quilt, powerful poetry.

  22. This is absolutely beautiful!

  23. Mollie…..Once again, another aspect of the workings of your talented brain spews forth like molten lava from an erupting volcano, giving us a peek into your poetic side . I think your latest creation is beautiful and screams MOLLIE! I also like doing the back of a quilt with various fabrics, allowing us to use yardage that may not have been sufficient to cover the entire back. As always, your use of color is amazing. Hugs lv2bquilting2@comcast.net

  24. Kirsten says:

    Such a gorgeous quilt – love the poem too!

  25. Paul Burega says:

    So much emotion. So sad. But glad you created a quilt. Love the quilt. Love the back. Reminds me of a friend who told me that every time he gives a quilt to his bf, they end up breaking up shortly later, and he never sees those quilts again. What's the quote, better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?

    Keep inspiring us! 🙂

  26. Carol Q says:

    absolutely stunning quilt and you can write poetry too…endless talent 🙂

  27. Laura says:

    Now I've read the poem, I can stop thinking of the song Shivers… Lovely quilt – great job 🙂

  28. Di says:

    What a beautiful quilt, and touching poem, Molli. Both go so well together, and are so very evocative of the strong emotions. Thank you for sharing yourself so fearlessly. You are a treasure.

  29. Sew Jacky O says:

    Love this quilt, fabric and for once the delectable mountain block. I've never liked these blocks much but I think your poem strangely made me see it in a different light. We'll done you.

  30. Kaesey says:

    This reminds me of a radio signal, with its bursts and static. It vibrates. =)

  31. amy says:

    "Knowing the shudder you felt, was smaller than mine" – one of the most beautiful descriptions of unrequited love I've heard.

    And this is one of my favorite quilts ever. Perfectly captures your feeling of "shudder". I must say, I'm madly impressed (still, despite seeing this develop for awhile) at that background fabric. It's such a bold choice, one I never would have made, and yet it's so very obviously the best choice. That's something I never would have been able to see in my mind's eye ahead of time and it shows a great genius.

  32. Lindy says:

    Wow! I will never look at a quilt in quite the same way. If only we could all have the chance to get in that last word before turning on our heel.

  33. I would normally find a quilt like this too busy for me to really enjoy, but this one seems to have a calming and nearly hypnotising effect. I really like it.

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